Oh Maya.


Conflict Resolution?

I work in a high-stress environment, where people are often substance affected and incredibly reactive. Working in an environment like this, conflict resolution skills are incredibly important and I believe that everyone in my team is excellent in diffusing conflict where (and when) needed.

I have worked here for just over two years now, and during this time certain employees have been praised for their conflict management. I have no issue with praise, credit where credit due etc, but there is a pattern that I have noticed.

In our work environment, we work mainly with men. And those who are praised are also men.

I never used to think much of this, attributing it to life experience etc. But as I've moved more out of direct practice and into a supervising role, I have had more time to observe.

I have observed female staff vs. male staff manage conflict. I have observed female staff use the same phrasing, the same words, the same tone and the same body language as their male counterparts, but with completely different results.

Male staff are respected, they are listened to and sometimes they are even thanked. On the other hand,  the female staff are called bitches, they are mansplained to and they are told they do not care.

What I have noticed has shocked me, although I am uncertain as to why, as it makes perfect sense. Why would you listen to women asking you to stop being angry when you have been told that women are there to meet your needs your entire life?

Even in the social and community services sector (which is predominantly female) the dominant idea of patriarchy rears its ugly head. Patriarchy has no borders, it has no constraints.

And that is terrifying.

Feminist Fight Club: How to Be a Woman - Caitlin Moran

Hi all,

I was struggling as a loud, opinionated and strong woman in a patriarchal world. That is what re-ignited my feminism. But this book also helped.

Or rather, these things transformed my feminism from something that was lurking under the surface to something as loud and bright as fireworks on New Year's Eve.


This book is wildly acclaimed in the feminist sphere and rightly so. It is an honest, rant-like manifesto of why being a woman can be a terrifying and uncomfortable experience.

It is in no way academic, or a representation of a 'perfect' feminism. But it doesn't pretend to be and this is why I think it has been successful. For a long time now, feminism has been treated as a dirty word and for many people (even women) a carefully constructed academic point of view wouldn't be well received.



Yes, Caitlin does leave a lot out and no, it's not all politically correct. But for many women, this is what represents their experience of coming to terms with feminism. If this is what is needed to get women talking about feminism and calling themselves feminists again - I'll take it.

We will work out the rest as we go.

Happy reading & goodnight!

Accidentally Ambitious?

I thought I would be cluckier at this point of my life, but I'm not.

The only reason I am mentioning this, is that it signifies a massive shift in thought process for me. Up until this point (and I'm not sure when 'this point' began), I have wanted to be a younger mother and have been convinced that I would never let my career 'get in the way' of this. 

Now I am successful in my career, the thought of having children is being pushed further from the forefront of my mind. 

Not necessarily because I think that having children will hold me back (although I know it will), but because my priorities have shifted and at the moment I still want to put myself first. 

Shocking for a 24 year old? I didn't think so. 

But I have found responses to my train of thought quite shocking. I have heard that I shouldn't stop thinking about it, that this is the best time of my life to both have a child and find the 'perfect man', and that I will regret it when I am successful at 40, but alone and dried up. Apparently these are the things you tell a young woman when she says she has goals outside of family life - which isn't okay. 

Young men (or any men) do not get asked about their reproductive futures, they do not get told that their will regret putting their careers first and they are not required to justify every decision they make that doesn't involve bringing the new generation into the world. 

I never used to think of myself as ambitious, nor did I particularly want to be. I wanted to float through life like a feather, drifting in the wind. But sadly, life doesn't work like that - not for women anyway. Making your way in the world as a young woman means that you have to fight for every single thing you want - even if the only thing you really want is for people to stop having an opinion on what you do with your own uterus. 

Does that make you ambitious? Hell yes. 

Run at me fools. 
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