Oh Maya.

Conflict Resolution?

I work in a high-stress environment, where people are often substance affected and incredibly reactive. Working in an environment like this, conflict resolution skills are incredibly important and I believe that everyone in my team is excellent in diffusing conflict where (and when) needed.

I have worked here for just over two years now, and during this time certain employees have been praised for their conflict management. I have no issue with praise, credit where credit due etc, but there is a pattern that I have noticed.

In our work environment, we work mainly with men. And those who are praised are also men.

I never used to think much of this, attributing it to life experience etc. But as I've moved more out of direct practice and into a supervising role, I have had more time to observe.

I have observed female staff vs. male staff manage conflict. I have observed female staff use the same phrasing, the same words, the same tone and the same body language as their male counterparts, but with completely different results.

Male staff are respected, they are listened to and sometimes they are even thanked. On the other hand,  the female staff are called bitches, they are mansplained to and they are told they do not care.

What I have noticed has shocked me, although I am uncertain as to why, as it makes perfect sense. Why would you listen to women asking you to stop being angry when you have been told that women are there to meet your needs your entire life?

Even in the social and community services sector (which is predominantly female) the dominant idea of patriarchy rears its ugly head. Patriarchy has no borders, it has no constraints.

And that is terrifying.

Feminist Fight Club: How to Be a Woman - Caitlin Moran

Hi all,

I was struggling as a loud, opinionated and strong woman in a patriarchal world. That is what re-ignited my feminism. But this book also helped.

Or rather, these things transformed my feminism from something that was lurking under the surface to something as loud and bright as fireworks on New Year's Eve.


This book is wildly acclaimed in the feminist sphere and rightly so. It is an honest, rant-like manifesto of why being a woman can be a terrifying and uncomfortable experience.

It is in no way academic, or a representation of a 'perfect' feminism. But it doesn't pretend to be and this is why I think it has been successful. For a long time now, feminism has been treated as a dirty word and for many people (even women) a carefully constructed academic point of view wouldn't be well received.



Yes, Caitlin does leave a lot out and no, it's not all politically correct. But for many women, this is what represents their experience of coming to terms with feminism. If this is what is needed to get women talking about feminism and calling themselves feminists again - I'll take it.

We will work out the rest as we go.

Happy reading & goodnight!